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SPOTLIGHT on New LELO Hula Beads

Last year was LELO’s 10th anniversary. One of the ways they celebrated was by releasing a new product named after one of their very first prototypes, the LELO Ida, which I have mention previously and will be reviewing very soon.

In addition, LELO followed up on a tradition they began in 2012 by updating a few of their older vibrator models, the Liv and the GIGI (not surprisingly calling them the Liv 2 and the GIGI 2). Not only did the Ida grace toy store shelves last year, but LELO also released two other new products, the LELO Tara and the LELO Hula Beads. As the Tara is basically the Ida without the remote, I won’t be discussing it in this post, but rather focusing on the LELO Hula Beads.

LELO Hula Beads

If you recall, a few years ago LELO unveiled several new remote-controlled toys using SenseMotion technology. LELO Hula Beads are the newest addition to the SenseMotion family. You may have noticed the Hula Beads have the same remote as its older siblings, such as the LELO Lyla.

Just as this remote looks the same, it also works the same, offering pre-programmed settings and SenseMotion modes. The SenseMotion modes respond to the actual movement of the remote itself. When utilizing SenseMotion technology, the Hula Beads vibrate in response to how you or your partner move its remote around.

That’s old news though. What are these Hula Beads anyway? Apparently, the smaller, upper ball rotates while the larger, lower ball vibrates, so they seem to have a few functions. You can insert only the upper bead, which I expect would rotate against your g-spot, leaving the lower bead outside of your body to vibrate right under your clit. You could also pop the entire toy inside of yourself so the upper ball would (still?) rotate against your g-spot, as the lower ball vibrates internally.

LELO already has several sets of kegel balls on the market, the most popular being the LELO Luna Beads. They are not marketing the Hula Beads as kegelcisors, but it seems to me like that is a natural part of their function. Of course, not having tried them, I could be totally wrong.

As with the rest of the LELO Insignia line, Hula Beads are made of silicone, rechargeable, and waterproof. They come in that boring old Deep Rose color that LELO has been pushing for a while, as well as Black, and Ocean Blue (which might be just as awesome as my teal Minna Limon).

The most appealing aspect of the new LELO Hula Beads (aside from them coming in Ocean Blue) seems to be the opportunity for couple’s play. If the motors are quiet enough, you and your partner could conceivably go out for a surprising, never know when it’s going to happen, kind of evening.

I’m also always interested in anything that will help me exercise, including kegels, by doing most of the work for me and allowing my body to simply react. If it works, I don’t care if it’s cheating. Besides, it’s not bad cheating, like having someone write your school paper or stealing money when you’re the Bank in Monopoly.

I suppose one could say I am cautiously curious about the new LELO Hula Beads. Have you tried them? What color do you have/would you choose? Totally Ocean Blue, right?

You can find the new LELO Hula Beads at the following stores:

Good Vibrations
She Bop


Minna Limon Vibrator Review

Way back in 2011, I had the opportunity to attend the AVN Adult Novelty Expo (otherwise known as ANE). At this trade show, I discovered a new company called, Minna Life, that was just about to release their first sex toy, the Minna Ola Vibrator.

I was able to handle it and experience just how different the Ola was from other vibrators currently on the market. It ended up taking me until last year to finally review the Minna Ola, and while I really loved the idea behind it, i didn’t enjoy the vibrator as much as I had anticipated.

Right about the time I published my Ola Vibrator review, I ran across Minna Life’s crowd funding campaign on indiegogo (which is partly how they funded the Minna Ola) for a new vibrator. Of course, I immediately published a Spotlight on the New Minna Limon.

After waiting and waiting, and waiting some more (patience is not one of my strongest virtues), the Minna Limon was finally released late last year. Thanks to the generosity of the awesome folks over at SheVibe, I didn’t have to wait almost two years to get my hands on one. Did I mention that it’s teal? It also comes in pink, if you really can’t stand the teal (crazy person).

Minna Limon Vibrator

At 3″ long and 2″ wide, the Minna Limon is SMALL, much more so than I expected. I have average sized hands for a woman and its lemony shape fits very comfortably. It is also incredibly light, weighing only 2.7 ounces, which is great for those with hand/wrist issues. It probably weighs about the same as my iPhone 5 with its case on.

If you’ve read my most recent review, you know that licking sex toys to determine if they are made of safe materials isn’t always the best idea. However, based on having actually met the people behind the company, my experience with the Minna Ola, and what I am willing to suffer for my readers, I licked the Minna Limon anyway. I am happy to report no adverse reactions.

According to my tongue, the silicone of the Minna Limon is legit. It is soft and smooth, similar to that of the Ola, but I find the Limon’s silicone to be silkier, with much less drag. There is a visible seam that runs around the center of the vibrator but it is not very noticeable.

The Minna Limon is not an insertable vibrator and the slickness of its silicone does not require gobs of lube. In fact, with this vibrator, less is more. It can get slippery easily. Stick to water-based lubricants, or as Minna Life states, “silicone-safe” lube. If you want to try using a silicone-based lube with the Limon, do a small patch test beforehand.

As the Minna Limon charges via tiny magnets on its underside, it has no open ports and is not only waterproof, it is also submersible. While I would stay away from the high temperatures of a jacuzzi, feel free to enjoy your Limon in the bath or shower.

Of course, the Minna Limon’s high-quality silicone is phthalate-free, body-safe, and hypoallergenic, and the waterproofness of the vibrator makes cleaning a breeze. You can go the lazy man’s route (AKA “the Bean method”) and wash it with warm water and gentle soap (NOT antibacterial). A sex toy cleaner will also do the job.

If you plan on sharing your Minna Limon Vibrator with non-fluid bonded partners, go the extra mile and disinfect it with a 10% bleach solution. This will destroy any bacteria lingering on the Limon’s surface and ensure nothing is unintentionally transferred.

Minna Limon Vibrator

Minna Limon Vibrator, Power Button

Minna Limon Vibrator, Size

Minna Limon Vibrator, Compared to Minna Ola

Kudos to Minna Life on the Limon’s charging solution. I think it’s great. The Limon sits in a small cradle that holds it in place while charging. This may not seem like a big deal, but as with most of the newer rechargeable vibrators, the Limon charges via USB.

At some point, I’m going to have to stop complaining about vibrators coming only with USB chargers because it is obviously the wave of the future, but today is not that day. I know most people (myself included) already own a USB to AC adapter thanks to a smartphone and/or tablet. In addition, it is more eco-friendly, which I do think is important.

Though I often perform a first charge on my computer while working so I can see if anything exciting happens and have an idea of how long it takes (and because I’m so lazy I don’t want to have to get it from the other room when it’s done), I generally prefer wall charging.

The fact that the Minna Limon charges via USB means that many people will charge it through a computer. If you’ve ever tried charging some of the older Fun Factory Click ‘N’ Charge Vibrators, you know magnetic chargers can sometimes be tricky, moving slightly or falling off completely and breaking the connection.

Not only does this not happen with the Minna Limon’s charger, it locks the vibrator into place and keeps it from rolling around. If you’re like me and have very limited space, you understand that being able to charge a lemon-shaped vibrator off my laptop without it trying to wander away every time I move is a big deal.

While charging, the Minna Limon does something super cool that I’ve never seen before. (Yep, I’m totally geeking out.) As with many rechargeables, the Limon’s internal light pulses during charging, then stops and glows steadily to inform you charging is complete.

However, when the Limon’s internal light is on, you see the the word “m!nna” projected onto the side of the vibrator. I know it’s unnecessary and does nothing to enhance to functionality of the toy. I’m also guessing it’ll drive some people crazy, but it’s clever and I love it.

Not only is the Minna Limon fully charged out of the box (not very common but very considerate), it pulses when you turn it on to let you know how much charge is left. Three pulses indicates the vibrator is fully charged, two pulses means you have approximately half the charge left, and one or no pulse says it’s time to recharge.

My understanding is that the Minna Limon requires approximately one hour to fully charge and will last 1.5-3 hour, depending on how it is used. The more frequently you use the stronger intensities, the faster the battery will drain. However, I have not been able to run it down beyond two pulses thus far and I have tried.

On to the fun stuff. What makes the Minna Limon so special? There are a few things, but the major difference between the Limon and any other vibrator on the market (aside from the Minna Ola) is how it actually works. Check out the video below.



The Minna Limon has what Minna Life calls a “squeezable interface”. Rather than the typical dials or buttons that control a vibrator’s intensity, you manage the Limon’s vibrations by squeezing it. The harder you squeeze, the stronger the vibrations will become. It is the easiest way to control a vibrator I have ever experienced.

There is no fumbling with two hands to try and turn a dial or need to remember which button is which and blindly poking around until you find the correct one. You just squeeze. As wondrous as this squeezability is, it may be challenging for those of you with hand and wrist issues. Minna offers a semi-solution, Lock Mode.

The Minna Limon has three modes, Free Play Mode, Record Mode, and Lock Mode. Just as it sounds, in Free Play Mode, it’s all about you squeezing the vibrator. Squeeze long and hard, you’ll get a steady, strong vibration. Stop squeezing, no vibrations. Easy peasy.

Record Mode is where the Minna Limon adds a special option to its already unique squeezable technology. It allows you to create your own patterns, and with its use of Smart Memory, the Limon will remember and replay the pattern you have just created. How cool is that?

You generate any pattern you like by squeezing the Limon with different strengths and for variable lengths of time. Once you are happy with it, simply stop squeezing. After a moment, the Limon will replay your creation over and over until you squeeze again to stop it.

First very important note: Like a young child, the Minna Limon can remember only one pattern at a time. As soon as you squeeze the vibrator to stop it, that pattern is gone and you must create a new one.

If you really love the pattern you’ve just designed but keep losing it by accidentally squeezing the Minna Limon, you can save your creation for the period of time the vibrator remains on. This is where Lock Mode comes in.

As the name suggests, Lock Mode allows you to lock in a specific pattern of vibrations. This way, no matter how many times you unintentionally squeeze the Minna Limon during play, you will not lose your pattern. I use this mode frequently. (Hi, my name is Bean and I’m am accidental squeezer.)

Just as controlling the vibration strength and patterns couldn’t be easier, the Minna Limon’s single control button could not make moving from mode to mode any more straightforward. I know I usually express a preference for a dedicated on/off switch, but because of how this vibrator works and due to its small size, having just the one button makes sense.

Turning the Minna Limon on is a snap. Simply press the power button. As I mentioned above, this is when the vibrator will pulse to let you know how much charge is left. The power light pulses along with the vibration. When the Limon is on, a small light directly underneath the power button will light up. This light remains lit through all three modes. The Limon always starts out in Free Play Mode. Free Play Mode = power light only.

To move to Record Mode, press the power button once. The record light, to the left of the power button, will turn on. It looks like a refresh symbol, a rounded arrow. You can now create unique vibration patterns and the Minna Limon will replay for them for you. Record Mode = power light + record light.

You’re probably getting the gist of this by now. You access Lock Mode by pressing the power button once again. The record symbol turns off and the lock light turns on. This is located to the right of the power button and looks like a little padlock. Lock Mode = power light + lock light.

Minna Limon Vibrator, in Charging Cradle

Minna Limon Vibrator, Charging Contacts and Travel Vent

Minna Limon Vibrator, USB Charging Cradle

While in Lock Mode, pressing the power button will return you to Free Play Mode, which is where you began when you turned the Minna Limon on. It’s that effortless. Three presses of the power button will allow you to access all the Limon’s features. To turn the vibrator off, press and hold the power button for several seconds. The Limon will pulse once and turn off.

Second very important note: Just as the Minna Limon will instantly forget a pattern as soon as you create a new one, turning the vibrator off will erase the last pattern you made. It does not have the ability to hold patterns in its memory without power.

In addition to employing the squeezable feature Minna Life introduced with the Ola Vibrator, the Minna Limon boasts what the company calls Rumble Motor Technology. Minna Life states that this unique technology offers “unprecedented strength”, which is one of those generalized statements meant to sound good without actually providing any real information.

Regardless, the Minna Limon’s vibrations are no joke. I find them to be more powerful and deeper than those of the Minna Ola and the LELO Siri, and surprisingly on par with my top two favorite clit vibrators of all time, the Crave Duet and the We-Vibe Touch.

The strength of the Minna Limon’s vibrations was a very happy surprise. The We-Vibe Touch may be a teency bit more powerful on its highest level (and I mean teency), but for some reason its power tends to lessen slightly when I press it against my body, so they end up being about the same.

The Siri, one of my preferred LELO vibrators, would need some extra oomph to compete with the Limon. Comparing the Limon to the Crave Duet is more difficult. The Limon’s vibrations may be more rumbly but the Duet’s dual motors create a sensation that the Limon cannot reproduce.

What astonished me even more than the Limon’s power was the deep, rumbliness of its vibrations. Take a moment to recall the highest-pitched, buzziest vibrations you’ve ever felt and how angry they made you. Holding on to that memory? The Limon’s vibrations are on the exact opposite end of the spectrum and are really what separates it from the Siri and many other vibrators. Aside from the obvious difference in shape, I’m not sure I would be able to tell the Minna Limon and the We-Vibe Touch apart in a blind test.

Though I don’t think I will ever lose my fondness for my We-Vibe Touch, the Minna Limon is significantly easier to use (It could be that my Touch is aging, but its button has become more and more difficult to operate.) and is not a lint magnet. It is also decidedly quieter than the We-Vibe Touch (and the Minna Ola), even at its highest level of intensity. I dare say, many people will be able to use the Limon next to a sleeping partner without disturbing them one iota.

Just as with the We-Vibe Touch and any other clit vibe of a similar size, some of the Minna Limon’s vibrations are transferred to the hand during use, causing mild buzzy hand syndrome. Unlike other vibrators that are so bad they are literally painful, the low-pitched level of the Limon’s vibrations restrict this to a tingling or slight discomfort, if any.

The shape of the Minna Limon will most likely work best for women who have protruding, or at least larger clits than mine. Though there is nothing wrong with the shape of the Limon, I find myself wishing its citrusy point was longer. I just happen to have a very small clit that is well hidden in its hood. However, once I sneak the tip in between my labia I am able to tuck it right up under my clit, which works fabulously.

I do want to mention that like the Minna Ola, the Limon’s squeeze pillow (Minna Life’s term, not mine) can deflate after travel or over time. There is a small silver spot underneath the vibrator, between the two magnetic charging contacts. This is the travel vent and when depressed with a ball point pen, it will re-inflate the pillow. And now I’m sleepy. Where is my pillow?

Probably my biggest complaint about the Minna Limon is its over-sized tube. I am a sucker for cool and/or luxurious packaging. At the same, I want a minimal amount of waste. I realize these desires often conflict. (Ever tried wrapping gifts using pages from catalogues or paper grocery bags? It takes a LOT longer than wrapping paper but makes me feel slightly more eco-conscious.)

As with the Ola, the Minna Limon comes in a stylish, cardboard tube that is sturdy enough to provide good protection and long-term storage, but it’s big (though not as bad as the Ola’s gigantic package). Inside the tube, the Limon sits in a little holder of sorts so it is perfectly displayed when you remove the top.

Also included are the Limon’s USB charging stand, an appropriately informative users manual in multiple languages, and a great little storage pouch that is easy to use. (Does anyone who has the We-Vibe Touch not despise the awful storage pouch that comes with it?)

Minna Limon Vibrator Packaging, Front

Minna Limon Vibrator Packaging, Back

Minna Limon Vibrator Packaging, Size

Minna Limon Vibrator Packaging

Minna Limon Vibrator Packaging, Contents

Minna Limon Vibrator Pros:
• Squeezable technology
• Deep and rumbly vibrations
• Powerful vibrations
• Record and Lock Modes
• Very lightweight
• Waterproof
• Rechargeable
• Silky, smooth silicone
• Super quiet
• Easy to use
• Straightforward control/light panel
• Good charging cradle
• Long battery life
• Cool side light-up feature
• Not a lint magnet
• Awesome color

Minna Limon Vibrator Cons:
• Better for protruding clits
• Mild buzzy hand syndrome
• No AC charger
• Overlarge packaging

I love being able to start the year off on a positive note. I had intended to publish my Minna Limon review on New Year’s Day, but the wretched stomach flu kept that from happening. I know this is technically my second review of 2014, but the first one was such a disaster I’m ignoring it.

I really can’t find big gaffes with Minna Limon. I included buzzy hand syndrome on my Cons list because it may be a true problem for some people who have certain hand issues. However, it is mild and no worse than most clit vibrators of its size. I would like an old school wall charger included with my USB charger, but that’s not a failure of the Limon itself.

The two issues to address when deciding on whether or not to purchase the Minna Limon are the squeezing and the shape. You can see all the great features this vibrator has listed under Pros and it’s obvious I’m a fan. I also have a chronic pain condition that severely impacts my hands at times. Would I want to deal with a squeeze pillow on those occasions? No. Then again, I don’t want to masturbate when I’m in that much pain either.

Do you prefer steady vibrations and only enjoy patterns once in a while? If so, the Minna Limon is probably not the ideal vibrator for you. Nifty technology aside, this vibrator is best suited for people who appreciate different pattern and want the opportunity to create their own.

Do you know what shape vibrator works best for you? If not, how are you built? Do you have a small, hidey clit like mine or is yours large and protruding, loud and proud? This is also vital to making a good decision about owning the Minna Limon.

While the Minna Limon has not replaced my favorite clit vibrator, it is making a serious play for the number two spot. Though I ultimately favor the shape of the We-Vibe Touch, I prefer everything else about the Minna Limon, from its silky, non-lint magnet-y silicone, to its ease of use and ability to create unique patterns, to its non-hateful storage pouch.

If you’re deciding between the Minna Ola and the Minna Limon, there is no competition. The Limon wins hands down. Not being insertable makes it slightly less versatile, but the strength, depth, and quietness of the vibrations, along with its much better charging solution and slicker silicone make up for that ten times over.

SheVibe carries both the Minna Limon and the Minna Ola and will give you free shipping on your $75 purchase, you’ll which qualify for with either vibrator. It’s not that I’m not trying to influence your decision or anything. All I’m saying is that if you’re in the market for a vibrator, seriously consider the Minna Limon. It comes in teal. Need I say more?

Bean Fiddler Rating:

Tantus Splash Dildo Review

Do you think it would be easier for you to write a positive or a negative sex toy review? For me, often positive reviews are the more challenging because it can feel like I’m just repeating myself. This is especially true when reviewing a toy from one of my favorite manufacturers. Well people, this is one of those reviews. Why? I’m reviewing the Tantus Splash Dildo.

Tantus Splash Dildo

There is a part of me that is so tempted to write up a really brief review about how the Tantus Splash Dildo differs from their other dildos and then refer you to my multiple Tantus reviews, but that just wouldn’t be fair, would it?

When ebony porn it comes to Tantus sex toys, it all begins with the company and their mission and values, but I have discussed how great the company is quite a bit recently. I’m not going to get into great detail about its awesomeness in this review. Though I will take a moment to congratulate Metis Black, the company’s founder, on her new position as CEO.

The foundation of all Tantus’ insertable sex toys is their Ultra-Premium Platinum Silicone. This is their unique blend of silicone and it’s 100% pure, not some mixture of silicone and TPR or who knows what else that many companies use. Tantus silicone is of the highest quality, as close to being non-porous as possible, hypoallergenic, and body-safe.

When it comes to using silicone sex toys, I generally advise you to stick with water-based lubricants. Many toys that claim to be silicone are not pure (In fact, a company can say their product is 100% silicone even if it DOES NOT actually have ANY silicone in it.) and many silicone-based lubes have additional ingredients. Mixing the two can cause a chemical reaction that damages the toy.

Due to the superior nature of its silicone, you can use the Tantus Splash Dildo with certain high-quality silicone-based lubricants. Your best bet is to go with a good brand and a product that has basic ingredients, such as Pjur Original Bodyglide. If you’re not sure how your lube will interact with the Splash, do a small patch test on the underside of its base.

Regardless of what type of lube you use, you’re going to need a good amount. Tantus silicone tends to be very draggy and the Splash Dildo is no exception. What is different is that the Tantus Splash is extremely textured and I find that this texture tends to eat lube more than a smoother dildo, like the Tantus Cush O2 Dual Density.

Tantus Splash Dildo, Side View

Tantus Splash Dildo, Size

Tantus Splash Dildo, Other Side View

Speaking of texture, what do you think of the appearance of the Tantus Splash Dildo? Ever since publishing a Spotlight on the Tantus Splish (Splash’s little brother) and the Tantus Splash back when they were released in 2012, I have been dying to try one of them because I really love texture.

As you know, I also seriously prefer unrealistic looking sex toys. The more lifelike dildos kinda give me the creeps. I don’t the like the idea of having sex with a random amputated penis, but that’s me. The Tantus Splash looks as though someone decided it was not quite finished and dumped a ton of silicone over the top that cured instantaneously.

Tantus does lovely color fades and the Pearl White and Purple Haze of the Splash Dildo work well together. Though Tantus has since moved on in their color mixing, such as with the Asteroid Butt Plug, the Splish and Splash are early members of the Tantus dual-colored sex toy club. As with these more recent colorful toys, the production process ensures no two dildos are exactly alike in their color fades.

The Tantus Splash Dildo is made of solid silicone. It has no electrical bits, which is great for cleaning and disinfecting. A simple wash in the sink with mild (non-antibacterial) soap and water or a spritz with a sex toy cleaner is good enough for many people. You can also pop the dildo in the top rack of your dishwasher and run it through with no soap.

If you intend to share your Tantus Splash with non-fluid bonded partners or would like to use it both anally and vaginally, disinfection is in order. A 10% bleach solution or boiling the dildo for 3-5 minutes will do the trick. When using the Tantus Splash anally, be sure to disinfect before using it vaginally.

Disinfection is a higher level of cleansing. Though silicone has such small pores that bacteria and viruses cannot sneak in, disinfecting your Tantus Splash Dildo will kill anything that may be clinging to the surface. Even if you’re not sharing your toys, it’s a good idea to disinfect them at least now and then, especially butt toys.

Yes, you can stick the Tantus Splash Dildo up your butt, so enjoy! Most of Tantus’ dildos have large bases which will keep them from disappearing into your anal canal. The Splash Dildo’s base also makes it harness compatible.

The Tantus Splash Dildo is on the larger side at 6.5″ in insertable length and 1.75″ in diameter. The length is less the issue as you can always control how far you slide the Splash inside yourself (unless you’re not the one doing the sliding). The 1.75″ diameter is what needs to be considered because you can’t just tell the dildo to suck in and makes itself slimmer.

Tantus Splash Dildo, Front View

Tantus Splash Dildo, Front View of Texture

Tantus Splash Dildo, Front Closeup of Texture

Even solid silicone has give, so often toys like the Tantus Splash Dildo can feel slightly less girthy in comparison to a dildo of the same width made in a material with no give, such as glass or wood. However, I find this to be less true of the Tantus Splash due to its serious amount of texture. If this dildo interests you but you are put off but its measurements, consider its significantly smaller sibling, the Tantus Splish Dildo.

Wondering how it is in use? In a word…excellent. Some sex toys look very textured but are really not enough so that you actually feel a difference. Whereas I feel every drippy drop of the Tantus Splash Dildo’s texture as it slides in and out of me. The large, round base is easy to thrust with and hold. It is also big enough that I think it will work well for people with hand/wrist issues. There is more than one way to hang on to the dildo without your hands or fingers cramping.

I’m willing to bet the curved tip of the Tantus Splash will provide good g-spot stimulation for some people, but I’m not one of them. My g-spot is very persnickety and I need totally hard, solid pressure against it, such as glass. The gently curving shaft does make for easier and more comfortable penetration than something ruler straight.

As this particular Tantus Splash Dildo was a designated review sample, it did not come in any packaging. (I just got this fantastic image image in my head of opening my door one day and finding it sitting there on the mat.) It was simply wrapped in brown paper within the shipping box.

I’m pretty sure when you purchase it, you will receive your Tantus Splash Dildo in the typical Tantus packaging. If you’d like to see what that looks like, check out another of my Tantus reviews, just not the Max O2 or the Plunge Paddle. My Tantus Max O2 Dual Density Dildo arrived the same way as my Splash, and the Tantus Plunge Paddle has different packaging, specific to the new line of impact play toys.

Tantus Splash Dildo, Back View

Tantus Splash Dildo, Back View of Texture

Tantus Splash Dildo, Back Closeup of Texture

Tantus Splash Dildo Pros:
• Um…it’s Tantus
• Very high-quality silicone
• Great texture
• Good shape
• Beautiful color fade
• Unique and one-of-a-kind
• Really cool looking
• Harness compatible

Tantus Splash Dildo Cons:
• Lint magnet
• Overly textured for some
• May be too girthy for some

I had high hopes for the Tantus Splash Dildo and unlike last week’s review, it did not disappoint. An ideal pallet cleanser, if you will. First, it’s made by Tantus and we all know how much I heart them and their products. Second, it’s made of some of the best silicone available to mankind (maybe I’m hyperbolizing a wee bit, but not much).

Third, the texture is significant and fab.u.lous. Seriously, if you don’t like texture, DO NOT buy the Tantus Splash Dildo. You will be miserable. If you love texture like I do or at least have a crush on it, head over to Tantus right now and get yourself a Splash (or Splish). Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. (Is Monopoly even relevant any more?)

If those reasons aren’t sufficient, the color fade is gorgeous, each dildo is unique, the base makes it easy to use, it’s harness compatible, and just looks COOL.

As for downsides, um…it’s a lint magnet. I believe every single one of my Tantus sex toys, with the exception of the Tantus Twist Butt Plug and the Tantus Plunge Paddle, suck up as much lint, hair, and dust as they possibly can. It’s just their way.

As for g-spot stimulation, my g-spot and I have met so it was not something I had anticipated. That’s why I did not list it as a con. The only reason I listed the texture and girth as possible downsides is because I know some people skip to the pros and cons at the end of the review (and some people need to be bashed over the head to get the point) and both are very important issues to consider before purchasing.

Merry Christmas to one and all, and now that you’ve read and commented on my review, go buy a Tantus Splash Dildo, then get the hell off the computer. It’s Christmas Day, people. Even Jews go to the movies or something.

Bean Fiddler Rating:

SPOTLIGHT on Fucking Sculptures Glass Dildos

I have been reviewing sex toys (and yes, it is WORK, even if I do get to do it in pjs) for several years now, and in this time I have become much more knowledgable about health and safety as they pertain to sex toys. As I have become better educated, I have grown more selective in regards to the stores I want to work with and the products I choose to review.

Education has always been very important to me and the more I learn, the more I want to share knowledge. I now only review toys made of body-safe materials (e.g. glass, silicone, stainless steel, etc.) and prefer to promote stores that have a strong focus on education, safety, and customer support. Of course, they’ve got to sell super cool toys too.

Speaking of toys, by now you know how much I love discovering great new manufacturers and products. Well, I recently began working with SheVibe, a sex shop I’d had my eye on for quite some time. SheVibe is a small, sex-positive store that carries thoughtfully selected body-safe sex toys, sexy apparel, Bondage and BDSM Gear, and other accessories.

SheVibe kindly (and unkowingly) introduced me to a company I had not run across before, Fucking Sculptures. No joke, that really is their name. Some people are more comfortable with “F*cking Sculptures”, but I’m a big fan of the word fuck so no using asterisks here.


Fucking Sculptures is a small company, based in Berkeley, CA, and anyone who reads Bean Fiddler regularly knows how much I love supporting companies that actually produce their products in the U.S. The fact that they happen to be located in my home state makes the “I advocate for local businesses” part of me happy as well.

A great example of what can happen when two creative forces come together, Fucking Sculptures makes beautifully unique glass dildos. Each of their designs is handmade (hand-blown?) so though two pieces may look similar, each objet d’art truly is one of a kind.

Fucking Sculptures currently offers five different styles, all of which SheVibe has in stock. Each Fucking Sculpture Glass Dildo is available in multiple colors and three sizes. SheVibe has an excellent selection of these gorgeous glass dildos, but they do not stock every design in every color and every size, because they’re not totally insane.

If you do see a Fucking Sculptures Glass Dildo on SheVibe’s site but are absolutely dying to own it in a different color, you can purchase directly from Fucking Sculptures. On their website, you can practically design your own dildo, albeit within certain parameters.

Not that I’m discouraging you from going that route, but I really must let you know that right now, at this actual moment, SheVibe is offering 25% Off each and every Fucking Sculptures Glass Dildo they have in stock.

Fancy a Medium Fucking Sculptures Two-Cumber in Black? Got it. How about a Large Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon in White? Done. Perhaps you would prefer my favorite, the Large Fucking Sculptures Corkscrew in Red? Sorry, it’s mine, mine, all mine! (Anyone getting a visual of a shrunken Daffy Duck hugging a giant pearl?)



Having enjoyed that brief trip down memory lane, let’s get back to SheVibe and their Fucking Sculptures Glass Dildos 25% Off Sale. Kinda hard to turn down that deal, especially when you consider that you won’t have to pay for shipping. SheVibe provides Free Shipping on all $75 orders.

While you’re there picking out your new Fucking Sculptures Glass Dildo, take a look at some of SheVibe’s other current promotions.

There is one more bit of info I’d like to share about Fucking Sculptures. They have just turned one year old and are presently celebrating their very first birthday. Congrats, Fucking Sculptures!

I really don’t want to let you in on this little secret, but I feel it’s only fair. In celebration of their one year anniversary, Fucking Sculptures is hosting a giveaway with some awesome prizes. Just because I told you about it doesn’t mean you have to enter or anything, you know. You could just gracefully bow out and allow me to win…

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Review

If you read last Friday’s Spotlight on the new OhMiBod Lovelife line, you may recall I mentioned this review was coming up. It’s been a long time since I reviewed an OhMiBod vibrator. In fact, I’ve only reviewed one other, the OhMiBod Freestyle W Rabbit Vibrator.

Looking back, I noticed I did not give the Freestyle W a great rating, but that is no reason to write off a manufacturer completely. When Good Vibrations offered me the opportunity to review the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to give OhMiBod another shot.

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH

Part of what makes the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH stand out is that it’s a wearable vibrator. Yes, I know this isn’t the first wearable vibrator to hit the scene. I once owned one of the old school Venus Butterfly. Fortunately, we’ve come a long way since then and the Club Vibe 2.OH is an example of this progress.

Unlike the wearable vibrators that require straps, look, and sound like you’ve got an alien between your legs if you actually put clothing on, the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH is a small, discreet vibrator, controlled wirelessly via remote.

I am attracted to clever designs so I was pleased when I first the removed the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH from the box. The vibrator and remote control fit together, the remote on top of the vibrator, like an elongated egg. This means they are more or less the same size at 3.75″ long, 1.75″ wide, and .5″ thick.

Though it’s probably obvious, the vibrator is the portion that is pink on top, with the protruding bump. This bump juts out approximately .25″. The on/off switch is on its underside and needs to be pressed and held for 2-3 seconds to power the vibrator on and off. After 30 minutes of inactivity, the vibrator will automatically shut down.

On the end of the Club Vibe 2.OH closest to the power button is the charging port, which is covered by a snuggly fitting plug that is easily removed. Just gently pull the small black tab on its right (when looking at the vibrator pink side up). OhMiBod has thoughtfully made sure this plug remains attached and does not completely come off, which would almost guarantee I’d eventually lose it. Thanks for that, OhMiBod!

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH’s remote control has a sleek design and is simple to use. I think it’s on the gigantic side to carry in a pocket, but I know people who can practically stuff an iPad in their jeans pocket and you would never notice it. Of course, they never have room for my lipstick.

For those of us who do not have magical pockets, there is a black cord attached to the Club Vibe 2.OH remote with a small clip on its end. The cord itself feels like a soft plastic material, as opposed to some sort of fabric-y type of rope, and seems very sturdy.

The remote control has three clearly marked buttons and a semi-circle of five LED lights. The on/off button needs only to be pressed briefly to turn it off. There is none of this pressing and holding business you’ve got to do with the vibrator portion of the Club Vibe 2.OH.

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH has two functions, Club Mode and Manual Mode. The middle button, marked with a speaker icon, activates and controls Club Mode, which is the most exciting feature of this toy. Above the Club Mode button is one with markings that look a bit like two little skyscrapers. It manages Manual Mode.

Let’s discuss the two modes. Manual Mode is nothing out of the ordinary. It has five pre-programmed settings, which are as follows:
1. Low steady vibration
2. Medium steady vibration
3. High steady vibration
4. Fast pulse
5. Slower pulse

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, Remote

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, Remote Underside

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, Vibrator Size

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, Vibrator Side View

When in this mode, the LED lights on the front of the remote glow blue. You turn Manual Mode on and cycle through its five settings by pressing the top button. It shuts off when either one of the other buttons is pressed.

Once in Club Mode, the microphone in the base of the remote will pick up ambient noise, which causes the vibrator portion to react. In theory, the vibrator should respond to anything loud enough for the microphone to detect, be it voices, music, a movie, etc. Keep in mind the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH does not work with an iPod/iPhone like the OhMiBod musical vibrators, therefore you do NOT need to purchase the OhMiBod app.

The microphone has five levels of sensitivity that are controlled with the Club Mode button. In this mode, the LED lights glow purple. The more glowing lights, the more sensitive the microphone will be and the more the vibrator should react. OhMiBod provides the necessary battery for the remote, a practice of which I highly approve.

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH is made of ABS with a body-safe PU coating that adds a soft, almost silky feel. PU, or polyurethane, is chemically inert, which makes it a non-reactive substance. It is commonly used in the production of plastic sex toys.

This coating, as well as ABS itself, is easily cleaned with mild (NOT antibacterial) soap and water. You can also use a sex toy cleaner. Though some people use rubbing alcohol on plastic, it’s not one of my preferred methods of cleansing. It is very caustic and can cause a negative reaction in delicate membranes. If you choose to use it, be sure you wash with water afterward to ensure there is none left on the vibrator.

One advantage of ABS is that it can be used with both water and silicone-based lubes. While I recommend lube with most sex toys, I’m not sure it’s necessary or particularly helpful with the Club Vibe 2.OH. As you’ll see in the images, once placed inside the thong’s secret pocket (more on this to come) very little of the vibrator is actually exposed. I don’t bother with lube, but know that if you want to, you can use any type.

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH is splash proof, not waterproof, so use caution when washing. Do not submerge it and be sure the charging port cover is firmly secured. For some additional visuals of the Club Vibe 2.OH, watch the video below.



By now you have realized the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH is rechargeable. Like many newer vibrators, it does not come with an AC power adapter, but a USB cable only. I have been a big supporter of USB chargeability (totally a word) since my first experience with a USB rechargeable sex toy, the Mystic Mini Massager, so I am pleased to see OhMiBod has switched over.

Though I am including the lack of an AC adapter on my list of OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Cons, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal anymore. I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that most people who are likely to purchase this particular sex toy have some sort of smartphone, tablet, or e-reader. Most of these devices come with USB AC adapters, but if you don’t have one they are quite easy to find.

A full charge takes about 2-3 hours and the purple LED light behind the power button flashes rapidly when the Club Vibe 2.OH is plugged in properly. Be prepared to set a timer because this light does not stop flashing when charging is complete.

According to OhMiBod, you will have up to four hours of use on a full charge. I charged my Club Vibe 2.OH on my computer, while working, and noticed something that very pleasing. This vibrator does not heat up or get warm while charging. My laptop is getting up there in years (bless its little heart…er, motherboard) and tends to run hot. I really dislike having things that give off heat that close to it.

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH comes with a black lace thong with a secret pocket (previously mentioned) in the gusset, which is where you stash the vibrator while wearing it. The material of this pocket is super stretchy, which is a good thing because sliding the vibrator into the pocket takes real effort, but it is then held firmly in place.

Remember, you’ve got to turn the vibrator on before popping it into the pocket. If you happen to forget (like maybe I did), the button is easily reachable so you can press it without having to remove the vibrator. Hold the button down for 3-4 seconds until it starts flashing, indicating it is ready to go.

I call this next section the “Great Underwear Comparison of 2013″, so if you have no interest in knowing how the OhMiBod thong stacks up in size next Victoria’s Secret undies, feel free to skip ahead.

I examined the OhMiBod thong alongside several styles of Victoria’s Secret undies, including both VS and Pink cheekies/cheeksters and thongs, all in size large. Based on this comparison, I would categorize the OhMiBod thong as a smallish medium. Obviously I’m not positive, but the differences between the large VS/Pink undies and the OhMiBod thong were significant. Aside from fit issues, the OhMiBod thong appears to be well-made.

There is something about the OhMiBod thong that I don’t understand. It has the special pocket in the center of the gusset where you put the Club Vibe 2.OH, but what’s up with the little pockets on each side of that one? Are they just they’re extra space or are you meant to put something else in them? Spare change, perhaps?

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, Vibrator & Privacy Pouch

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, Vibrator in Secret Pocket

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, Thong Lace

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, Thong

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, Charging Port

When I first took the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH out of the box, I thought there was no way it would be comfortable to wear. It’s made of hard, unforgiving plastic and just looked so wide. Turns out, it’s surprisingly comfy and barely noticeable.

The thong on the other hand, not so much. I would change its category from One Size Fits Most (OSFM) to One Size Fits Some. Unfortunate as it may be for health issues in this country, the reality is that approximately 1/3 of the U.S. population is on the larger side.

This is not a judgement on my part, simply a comment on the need for manufacturers of many products, not just sex toys and lingerie, to take this into account during the design process. I would suggest OhMiBod consider offering more than one size of thong with the Club Vibe 2.OH. Perhaps just have two or three separate packages with different sizes.

Speaking of revamps, what’s even more disappointing than the fit of the thong is the interaction between the remote and the vibrator. The remote is meant to control the Club Vibe 2.OH from up to 20′ away. Maybe my unit is defective, but it doesn’t even come close.

After having issues, I tested the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH while working on the computer with music playing on iTunes (which I totally thought would work). Even with the sensitivity level set at five (the highest), if the remote was not right next to the computer, it did not pick up enough noise to cause the vibrator to react. Just moving the remote an arm’s length away immediately killed the vibrations.

The type of music played did make a significant difference. Aerosmith and Metallica created a much stronger reaction than ABBA (don’t judge me) at the same level of loudness. Forget slower music without bass completely.

Though the vibrations are definitely quiet enough to wear the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH out in public, I am beyond disappointed in their lack of strength. I have yet to come close to having an orgasm wearing the Club Vibe 2.OH. In fact, half the time I don’t even get turned on enough to want to finish myself off with another vibrator. In addition, the vibrations are very lightweight and buzzy, especially on the highest manual setting. So much so, they are on the verge of being annoying, if not downright painful.

Wearing the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH with other underwear is doable, but without that special pocket in the OhMiBod thong, I feel like I have to keep adjusting myself. Sure, this is less the case when wearing clothing that is super tight in the crotch, but other than tights, that’s not a great idea for multiple reasons.

I know I have readers even geekier than me, so I thought I’d mention that the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH’s wireless remote operates on the 433.92 MHz frequency. Turns out a number of wireless products use the same frequency, such as baby monitors, wireless doorbells (???), remote-controlled ceiling fans, and garage door remotes. Who knew? It is my understanding that wireless broadband and cordless phones are on a different frequency, so it’s not very likely your wifi will interfere with your vibrator.

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Packaging, Box Front

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Packaging, Box Side

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Packaging, Box Back

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Packaging, Inside Box

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Packaging, Box Contents

Though the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH’s packaging is not necessarily discreet, the box is very sturdy and good for storing other stuff. There are images and some basic information on the sides and back of the box. Inside is a plastic tray that nicely organizes the included components, the Club Vibe 2.OH with remote, battery, USB cable, and lace thong in a black, stretchy privacy pouch.

When you first open the box, laying on top of everything is what looks like a very extensive user manual. It’s actually the number of languages it contains that makes it look so intimidating. The directions are simple and clear, with several helpful images. Though the lace thong comes in the privacy pouch, the Club Vibe 2.OH also fits, which is where you are meant to store it in between uses.

Other than four DO NOTs related to batteries that anyone with half a brain and some common sense already knows, there are exactly four warnings, or as OhMiBod calls them, “Important Safeguards”. All four warnings are also commonsensical, especially once you understand the vibrator portion is splash proof, not waterproof. Way to go, OhMiBod!

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Pros:
• Body-safe material
• Both sound responsive and pre-programmed modes
• Wireless remote control
• Lace thong with special pocket included
• Super lightweight and easy to use remote
• Charging port cover always attached
• Remote battery included
• Privacy pouch included
• Appropriately informative user manual
• Does not heat up when charging
• No need to purchase app

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Cons:
• Weak, buzzy vibrations
• Lack of communication between vibrator and remote
• Thong will not fit many people
• No notification charging is complete
• No AC power adaptor

On paper, the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH looks good and I had such high hopes, but they were cruelly dashed once I started testing. I think it must be much like running out to the tree on Christmas morning and finding only a lump of coal in your stocking. Not that I’d know, being a Jew and all. Why give coal, a symbolic representation of misbehavior that you forget about the moment you toss it, when you can pile on the guilt, the gift that keeps on giving?

If you’re ok with weak, buzzy vibrations and get off easily, the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH might do it for you. If you’re ok with weak, buzzy vibrations and don’t get off easily, it still might make for a great night out, with your partner teasing you until you can no longer bear it and end up having sex up against a wall, outside a club, in public. (Don’t call me if you get arrested.)

However, if you don’t fall into either category, I cannot imagine being at all happy with the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH. Though its pros significantly outweigh its cons, the weak and buzzy vibrations, as well as the inability of the vibrator to respond if the remote is more than a few feet away, are the kiss of death. It’s truly a shame because I love the concept behind this product, but it fails in the execution.

You can find the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH at Good Vibrations, but I would suggest considering an alternate OhMiBod Vibrator, a different Premium Vibrator (They happen to be $20 off right now!), or another Luxury Vibrator altogether.

Bean Fiddler Rating:

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