HIM & HER, The Ultimate Guide To Your Lover, is a lovely boxed set of two books from Fascinations. This set of books is meant for heterosexual couples. HIM is dedicated to “her” and meant to be read by the female partner in the relationship, while HER is dedicated to “him” and meant to be read by the male partner. Quite frankly, I think it is a good idea to read and discuss both, but I’m all about communication.

HIM & HER are good quality hardcover books with tasteful photographs, organized into brief, manageable chapters. They appeal to me visually but slightly less so intellectually as they are very basic. HIM is blue and HER is pink, and this is where the stereotypes begin. Overall the information provided is very stereotypical and superficial, but what can we expect in 83 pages per book? HIM & HER touch on many topics without fully exploring any of them. However, they do so in an attractive and easy to read way, and there are some helpful hints.

HIM & HER appear to be written as companion guides. As you can see, the chapters in the books mirror each other.

HIM by Tseverin Furey
CHAPTER 1 Behold the Man
CHAPTER 2 Love, Sex, and Intimacy: The Guy Version
CHAPTER 3 What’s the Deal With…?
CHAPTER 4 Make the Most of Your Man
CHAPTER 5 Cowboys, Gay Boys, & “Real Men”
CHAPTER 6 What He Doesn’t Know
CHAPTER 7 First Come Love, Then Comes…

HER by Dr. Victoria Zdrok
CHAPTER 1 A Guide to Her Body
CHAPTER 2 Love, Sex, and Intimacy: The Female Version
CHAPTER 3 What’s the Deal With…?
CHAPTER 4 Make the Most of Your Woman
CHAPTER 5 The Good, the Bad, and the Bisexual
CHAPTER 6 What She Doesn’t Know
CHAPTER 7 First Comes Love, Then Comes…

I’m struck by the dichotomy between the writers. Tseverin Furey, author of HIM, is described as “a multimedia artist whose paintings, music, and collage often explore the intersection of humor and sex.” On the other hand, Dr. Victoria Zdrok, author of HER, “has a PhD in clinical psychology, a law degree, and a certificate in sex therapy.” What’s up with that? They get the seriously qualified woman to write about women but go for a humorist to write about men? Not sure how I feel about that…

Both HIM & HER offer directions on how to physically please your partner, from massaging erogenous zones to manual and oral stimulation. They also offer tips and tricks on how to get in sync with your partner mentally and emotionally. While the authors make some good points, I found many of the suggestions in HIM a bit silly. On explaining to your man how you enjoy being stimulated, Furey writes, “Tell your man your body is like a novel in braille. Some parts you can skim; some deserve rereading.” Then again, My Man thought this made sense, so what do I know?

One thing I liked about HIM is that it really opened up communication between My Man and me. We have excellent communication as it is, but this book was a great jumping off point for multiple conversations that led to me understanding him more thoroughly.

HIM & HER Pros
• Visually appealing
• Well-organized
• Easy to read

HIM & HER Cons
• For heterosexual couples only
• Surface information
• Stereotypical

While HIM & HER are certainly not the “ultimate guides” they claim to be, they do provide some useful tidbits of information. Opening up new topics of conversation in always positive in a relationship and I did find these books helpful in doing this. Even in an openly communicative relationship such as the one I have with My Man, there are always new topics to discuss and these books helped spark some interesting conversations. For that, I appreciate HIM & HER. These books do a good job at what they do, which is to provide some basic information and a spring board from which to explore your relationship.

However, if one or both partners takes these books as the gospel truth without double-checking with each other, I could see these beliefs leading to some unpleasant misunderstandings. So remember, while it’s helpful to research and learn more about your partner in general, nothing beats firsthand experience and knowledge of your specific partner. Ask your partner questions so you can truly understand him or her. Talk to each other. Don’t rely on a book to tell you what you need to know about the other person in your relationship.

Check out HIM & HER, as well as other cool books and sex toys, at Fascinations today!

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