If you are a regular on this site you know I tend to prefer sex toys that are fun and whimsical to those that are realistic. Nonetheless, I broke down and decided to try my first realistic dildo, the Captain Dildo from Good Vibrations.

Even though I knew it was realistic, the Captain Dildo still surprised me in how realistic it really looks. It’s all bulgy and veiny and wow is it girthy! At 1 7/8″ I knew it would be, but looking at the measurements online and feeling it inside me are two completely different experiences. It is so thick that once I work it inside me I can simply leave it there if I want and it does not even begin to slide out. Thrusting with the Captain Dildo is a delightful experience. It fills me up so completely and feels so good sliding in and out of me. As the silicone is firm, I can feel the texture sliding up against me.

I love the 100% silicone of the Captain Dildo. It’s firm but squashy, so it is not only great inside me but fun to play with in my hand. I think it would be awesome for hand exercises. Just squeezing it will release stress and if it doesn’t crack you up that you are squeezing a Dildo rather than a stress ball, I do not know what to tell you. Of course, the silicone is also latex and phthalate-free, hypoallergenic, body-safe, and waterproof. In fact, as there are no moving or electronic components, your cleaning options with the Captain Dildo are endless. You can use the typical antibacterial soap and water, sex toy wipes or spray, 10% bleach solution, pop it into the top drawer of your dishwasher without soap, or boil it in water for 3-5 minutes.

Unlike most silicone, I do not find the Captain Dildo to be a huge lint magnet, which I greatly appreciate. It is always a drag to spend all this time cleaning your silicone dildos only to find hair and dust on them after they have dried. This silicone is smoother and more slick than most and the only part of the Dildo that does pick up lint and hair and such is the bottom of the base.

I also find only a moderate drag with the Captain Dildo’s silicone so I can use less lubricant with it than with other silicone sex toys. I recommend using water-based lubricant with the Captain Dildo as it is made of silicone. Some very high quality silicone lubes can be used with very high quality silicone sex toys. However, I never take the chance. You can always do a small patch test on the bottom of the Captain Dildo to make sure the silicone lube does not melt the silicone of the Dildo.

The Captain Dildo is almost 8″ in length, with almost 7 1/2″ being insertable (thanks to a low profile flared base) and 1 7/8″ in girth. While I love the girth, I do not recommend the Captain Dildo to beginners or people who prefer smaller sex toys. This baby makes its presence known. As the Captain Dildo has a flared base, it can also be used anally. While you all know I love a good anal toy, I have yet to experiment with the Captain in my butt. I am just slightly intimidated. And that is ok. Don’t judge me.

The flared base of the Captain Dildo also makes it harness-compatible. I do not have a harness so I can only guess this would be a great dildo to use in one. The other great thing about the Captain Dildo is that it comes in four colors and none of them are “flesh” or “skin” colored. The Captain Dildo is available in Vanilla, Caramel, Coffee, and Black. Mine is Vanilla.

The packaging of the Captain Dildo is simple and totally indiscreet. It comes in a plastic clamshell sleeve that shows every single inch of its bulgy, veiny goodness. The package has some basic info on the back but is really not great for storage as mine does not totally close properly. I think this is due to me opening and closing it so many times. I am going to insert my typical gripe here about how all toys should come with a storage bag and the Captain Dildo does not. Remember, it is best to store your silicone sex toys separately rather than touching each other as silicone can break down silicone, just like with silicone-based lubricant.

Captain Dildo Pros:
• Squashy silicone
• Awesome girth
• Easy grip for thrusting
• Flared base
• Not a lint magnet
• Multiple colors

Captain Dildo Cons:
• No storage bag
• Will be too girthy for some

I was not sure how much I would like this dildo because of its realistic looks. While I have not been won over to the realistic camp at all, I will say that the Captain is one of my favorite silicone Dildos. I just love the squashiness of the silicone and the fabulous girth of the Captain. While this girth may not be something I am in the mood for all the time, when I want to be filled up, the Captain Dildo is a dream. It just fits me perfectly and thrusting leaves me gasping. Pair it with a good vibrator on my clit and I am a very happy girl.

If you are looking for great girthy, realistic Dildo I highly recommend heading on over to Good Vibrations and picking up a Captain Dildo in your color of choice.

Bean Fiddler Rating: